im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
