Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
