Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
