So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
