But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
