If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize