Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have fence marks all over my body
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize