he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
