This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
