Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
