So drunk its hurt
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
