My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
