I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
