she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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