pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
