What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
