there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
