what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just invented taco cereal.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
