Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
