I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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