guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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