I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
