We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize