My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
