Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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