We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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