He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
