You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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