so let's talk penis.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
