does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
