i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
