we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
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