You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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