One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
