cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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