So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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