Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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