I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
