Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
