haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
They have beer where we have blood.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize