college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
