hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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