his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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