They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
