Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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