none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
