New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
