shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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