In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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