Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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