Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
