Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
