it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
