dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
