im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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