Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize