And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
