I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
