And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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