the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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