K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
