Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
