how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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