And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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