i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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