He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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