wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
