I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She bit a glass in half.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
