Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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