So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
