I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
