You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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