We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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