i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
