the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
