I just cut my nipple shaving
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
