i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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