We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
