Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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